17 Apr Emotional Self-Care Q&A 情緒自我照顧問答
- Why is deep breathing our best friend when facing difficult emotions?
For two reasons:
- It helps you slow down, so you can observe your emotion before you react.
- When you do it right, deep breathing gives your brain more oxygen, so you can think better.
- 深呼吸幫助你慢下來, 所以你可以先觀察你的情緒, 再作出反應。
- 當你用正確的方法深呼吸, 就能讓更多的氧氣進入你的大腦, 這樣你才能更有效地思考。
- Where in my body can I find or feel my emotions?
我可以在身上哪些地方感覺到我的情緒?Everywhere. Your whole body is the vessel of your emotions. Each emotional feeling has a corresponding physical feeling. Every unaccepted or unprocessed emotion is also stored in your body. Therefore, if you pay attention to your body you can often find some emotions.
身上到處都有情緒。你的身體就是你情緒的載體, 每一個情緒上的感覺都有一個相對應的身體上的感覺, 每一個不被接納的或是未處理的情緒都會儲存在你的身體中, 因此, 如果你注意你的身體, 你往往能發現有些情緒在裡面。
- What is the difference between emotions and feelings?
情緒和感覺有什麼不同?Emotion is one kind of feeling. Feelings can be physical or emotional.
- Is there a “right” emotion for certain situations?
在某些情況下，有沒有”正確的”情緒?When we try to decide if there is a “right” emotion for what happened, we already try to restrict or change our emotions. There is no right or wrong, good or bad emotion, no matter what happened. Emotion is simply there to provide you with information. The best thing to do with any emotions is to acknowledge and to accept them as they come up.
當我們試著決定什麼是正確的情緒, 我們就是想要限制或改變我們的情緒, 情緒沒有好壞對錯, 情緒只是在給你提供訊息, 任何情緒來的時候最好的方法就是認可和接受它們。
- So can I do anything I want just because I have emotions?
那麼, 因為我有情緒就什麼事都可以做嗎?Emotions and behaviour are two separate things. You can accept that you have strong emotions about something, but that doesn’t mean you can act out on them. There are acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
情緒和行為是兩回事, 你可以接受你對某件事有強烈的情緒, 但是那不代表你可以用激烈的行為來表達這些情緒, 行為是有可接受和不可接受的。
- Just naming my emotions could caIm them down. Is it really that simple?
只要說出我情緒的名字就可以安撫情緒, 真的有這麼簡單嗎?Yes, emotions long for being seen. When you act out, you are actually asking others to see your emotions. However, you need to be the first one to see your own emotions. Speaking from a neuroscience perspective, naming your emotions helps your thinking brain to see and to calm your emotional brain.
是的, 情緒都渴望被看見, 當你做出激烈的行為, 事實上你是希望別人看見你的情緒, 但是你是第一個需要看見你自己情緒的人。從神經科學的角度來說, 為你的情緒命名能幫助你掌管思考的腦看見並且安撫你掌管情緒的腦。
- Why can’t I take care of someone else’s emotions first?
為什麼我不能先照顧別人的情緒?It is impossible to take care of someone else’s emotion before you take care of your own. The wish to take care of someone else’s emotion comes from the need for safety. We fantasize we would be safe, liked, or loved if we make the other person happy. At the end, we are still waiting for the other person to look after us.
在你照顧自己的情緒之前, 要照顧別人的情緒是不可能的。想要照顧別人的情緒其實是出於安全上的需要, 我們幻想當我們能讓另一個人高興，我們就是安全的、被喜歡的、或是被愛的，說到底, 我們還是在等待別人來照顧我們。
- Sometimes my emotions last for many days, or even months, no matter what I do. Why are my emotions so strong?
有時候我的情緒會持續好幾天甚至好幾個月, 不管我做什麼, 為什麼我的情緒如此強烈?One possibility is that you have picked up feelings that do not belong to you. Ask yourself: Who does this feeling belong to? Who in your family feels this way?
The other possibility is that you have been emotionally starved. You have not learnt or practiced on how to take care of your emotions. Therefore, your emotions have to speak to you very loudly to get your attention.
有一個可能性是你把不屬於你的感覺攬在身上。問問你自己: 這個感覺屬於誰? 誰在你的家庭裡有這樣的感覺?
另一個可能是你一直處於情緒飢餓狀態, 你還沒有學過或是練習如何照顧你的情緒, 因此你的情緒必須非常大聲才能得到你的注意。
- Is there a gender difference in feeling emotions? Women seem to have stronger emotions.
情緒有沒有性別之分? 女人好像情緒比較強烈。There is no gender difference in feeling emotions, but there is in expressing emotions. For example, both men and women feel sad equally strong, but it is more socially acceptable for women to express sadness than men. On the other hand, men are more likely to express anger when they feel sad because they were told not cry when they were young.
不分男女都可以感受到所有的情緒, 但是在表達情緒上有性別之分。例如, 男人和女人都會感覺悲傷, 但是社會比較接納女人表現哀傷; 反過來說, 男人感到悲傷時更可能表現出來的是憤怒, 因為男人從小就被教導不要哭。